Monday, November 30, 2009

Fear The Bird

Once again it 'tis the season. Obviously for obsessing over every morsel / unholy calorie of food you put in your mouth. At no other time during the year is the fear of fat (aka; the Obesity Epidemic or Obesity EpiPanic) more patently evident. All we hear about in the news is how bad, bad, bad it is to overeat during the holidays. A lose of control or a complete failure of will. A moral defect that proves weakness of character. If you can't or don't want to push the plate away before your done then you are Less Than, in danger of becoming Other (read; fat), and will suffer all the 'obvious' consequences. Ho-Ho-HO!! The fear and loathing is almost palpable. But don't be overly alarmed, Pilgrim. Pious superiority requires that you be told how it should be done. Just as fat people must be constantly reminded that we're fat, consistently advised over and over of the potentially inevitable health risks (Um...Huh?) 'lest we somehow forget or delude ourselves. Just like we need to have hundreds of useless diets, methods, plans, lifestyle changes, food recommendations (Food, like moral standing, can only be 'good' or 'bad'. This is well known) and every manner of folk remedy pushed at us as if those 'recommending' this 'helpful advise' were getting paid, cash money, by the diet industry. Just as there is always 'help' for us poor misinformed and ignorant fatties, there are plenty of tips and tricks that you can use to avoid damnation temptation. So these two family events -two days in as many months- these celebrations that are supposed to be about joy, togetherness, family, and gratitude for that with which we have been blessed, are not completely guilt free. Because, yah know, if the writers of these holiday self-flagellation guides are too neurotic and eating disordered or their familial dysfunction has them too skewed / screwed to actually enjoy the holidays? Well, then why should anyone else?
Muzak Therapy:
The Ramones / We're a Happy Family

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